Here’s a little something you need to know if you’re considering getting pierced; piercing a body part can have a nasty little side effect……infection. Most piercers give the same instructions and most of the instructions are a wee bit inadequate. Because of this, I had to develop my own treatment plan and have passed it along to many people on the ‘Net. It has never failed however, it is only for dry piercings (such as ears, belly buttons, etc…). If you have a piercing that’s on a wet area (oral, genital), do not use this plan.

For dry piercings:

1.) Every day, twice a day: cleanse the piercing using a very mild, fragrance free soap.

2.) After it’s dry, gently swab it with hydrogen peroxide. Do not use alcohol because it can irritate and excessively dry out the area. If it’s irritated, the healing can be hindered.

3.) Carefully swab a small amount (just enough to cover the area, not to drown it) of a 2.5 % benzoyl peroxide cream around the hole (on top and underneath if possible). This is the same stuff you use for acne. Benzoyl peroxide is a disinfectant and is the ingredient that kills germs that can cause infections.

4.) Cover the area with something to protect your clothing (the benzoyl peroxide can bleach your clothes) and protect the pierced area (which will probably be tender until the healing is well underway). I went to Wal-Mart and bought a small sink drain (it was just under 2 inches in diameter…located in the plumbing dept.) because it was pretty flat and wouldn’t show beneath my clothes and, more importantly, it had holes in it so air could get to my piercing and help it heal. You know how doctors always tell us to keep wounds “clean and dry”? Well, if you cover the pierced area and there’s no way to get air to it, it can get some moisture build-up which can slow down/prevent healing. If you use the small sink drain, attach it with a strip of medical adhesive but leave some of the airholes exposed.

Anyhoo, it only took a month to get my belly button healed up whereas I’ve had friends who’s belly button piercings took 6-8 months to heal. So, if you’ve been treating your piercing and it’s not healing, give this plan a try. If it works for you, you can reward me by getting my name tattooed on your bad self.

Need a way to waste time or avoid doing a project?  No problem, just check out the following links (which are both blogs and websites but Blog and Website Flog doesn’t have a ring to it) :

Museum of Online Museums- Seriously, you should plan to take a week off from work/school before you dare to wander over to this site.   

Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone- Surprisingly accurate interpretation of astrological signs and planetary alignments.

Flylady- For those of us who are less than tidy, this is a great site to help you get control over the clutter.

I hate lipstick. I really hate lipstick. Sadly though, sometimes I need lipstick. On most days I don’t mind walking around with my bare lips hanging out but there are times when I have to wear the stuff in order to look better, more polished. The reason for this is due to the fact that I have pale lips. Don’t get me wrong, I have color in my lips but not much. I have always fantasized about having full, red lips. The kind of lips that make men blush. The kind of lips that make women hate other women. My lips? They don’t make men blush and I have tons of female friends. ‘Nuff said.

Because of this I’m trying to find a truce with the cosmetics industry and at least find a lipstick that is tolerable. I’m not asking for perfection. I’m not asking for a miracle. Just one decent formula in a lovely neutral-yet-sophisticated color. And I’m asking that the product not be discontinued immediately after I discover it.

At last count, there were approximately 1 million cosmetics companies who manufactured 1 gazillion tubes/sticks/pots of lip color. In theory there is a product out there that will suit my needs yet it seems I’ve tried every brand, every formula and every shade that has been made since Cleopatra was the reigning It Girl. As a matter of fact, there’s a cosmetics company named after Cleo and let’s just say that apparently the company was named after someone other than the woman who had torrid affairs with Marc and J-Ceas. If I’m ever given an opportunity to go back in time, I’m going to pay Cleo a visit and see if I can talk her out of some of her beauty secrets. In the meantime, I’m on a mission to find the most tolerable lip coloring product possible and these are the results so far.

SUPER-MATTE LIPSTICKS
“Go ahead and kiss him” the advertisement reads. “It won’t come off until you take it off” the advertisement claims. Great, I’ll take one in every shade. Or not. Have you tried this stuff? Candlewax feels better on your lips. For that matter, superglue feels better on your lips. It’s true that the super-mattes won’t come off unless you eat something oily or sandblast your lips but the drawback is your lips feel like all the moisture has been sucked out of them and replaced with ground walnuts. Don’t get me wrong, I love walnuts but I usually don’t tint them and wear them on my kisser. Speaking of which, “kiss him”? Only if I’ve decided to break off the relationship. The way I figure it, after he kisses my walnuty lips, he’ll be begging me to break up with him and I won’t have to go into some long it’s-not-you-it’s-me explanation. (Besides which, it isn’t me, it is him and he deserves to be tortured with a walnut good-bye kiss.)

MATTE LIPSTICKS
Okay, in all fairness, these formulations usually feel okay . However, since I don’t wear red-toned, orange-toned, brown-toned, or black (???) lipstick, the colors usually leave a lot to be desired. Also, no matter how well the formula wears, the color always seems to change after it is on my lips. Sometimes I feel I’m a walking, talking litmus test. “Oooh, this looks perfect. ‘Moody Mauve’ sounds good. Let’s just try that….oh dear, now I see why they call it moody.” Most cosmetic lines are separated into groups such as “cool”, “warm” or “neutral”. I think they should break it down even further and have sub-groups for “acidic lips” and “alkaline lips”. And don’t get me started on those lipsticks that start out one color, blue for instance, and turn into a regular-ish color after being schmeared onto your lips. I can’t begin to comprehend the idea behind that concept. Sure, it’s cool for a 6 year old but a grown woman? I think not.

MOISTURIZING LIPSTICKS
Ahhh, moisture for lips. In theory that sounds so nice. In reality it means your lips feel pretty good but you have to reapply the color every 32.6 minutes. I’m not kidding, I timed it. For someone who has the time and inclination to look at themselves in the mirror every 32.6 minutes, this formulation is terrific. And because of all the greasy stuff in it, it seems to not change colors like other formulas. However, I don’t have time to check my lipstick and since I’m ½ vampire (on my mother’s side) mirrors are not always a viable option for me.

LIP LINER
This product is a fascinating one. The basic concept behind a lip liner is to prevent “bleeding” and/or provide a base for lipstick to “cling” to. Quick rhetorical question: why would an industry built on beauty and vanity use the word “bleeding” in their advertising? Alright, we’ll ignore that for the moment and move on to more important matters. What’s amazing to me is the fact that lip liner isn’t even meant to be the outer product, and most brands are made in the same few factories, yet the manufacturers can’t even produce consistent formulas. Some of them are so greasy that they should only be ordered in bulk by members of The Clowns and Mimes Local #531. Others are so dry you risk permanent scarring of your lips from just one use. The plus side of using a lip liner, especially as a base for the lipstick to “cling” to, is lip liners seem to have a greater amount of pigmentation in them which means the color stays on longer. Which is important if your act is showing at a Big Top or children’s party.

LIP GLOSS
Colored goo. Need I say more?

And so my quest continues. I’m determined to find the perfect lipstick but in the meantime, I think I’ll invest in some of those big plastic lips. And if you have a lipstick that you love, please take my advice and run, don’t walk, run to your nearest store and buy as many tubes as you can afford. Because they just discontinued that particular shade.

Here in Central Texas, the sun usually beats us to death.  Compared to what our Northern friends are going through, I’m grateful for our weather.  However, because we have so many sunny days, it’s vital for us to wear sunscreen.  I’m quite the sunscreen Nazi so I’m usually the one my friends come to when they want to know what to look for and which brand suits their needs.

The first thing you need to know is there isn’t such a thing as sunblock.  No formula blocks the radiation 100%.  Don’t let any of the companies hype that into your brain.  SPF 15 blocks approx. 95% of the sun’s rays so let that number be your starting point.  Anything less is going to let in too much radiation.  SPF 30 blocks about 97% of the sun’s rays and that’s about the maximum blockage.  Higher SPFs will let you stay outside longer but they won’t block a higher percentage of the radiation.

The second thing you need to know is SPF stands for Sun Protection Factor.  The SPF number tells you how long the average person can be in the sun before the sunscreen stops working.  For example, if you can only stay out in the sun for 10 minutes before starting to burn, then you would multiply 10 by the SPF number to determine how many minutes the sunscreen will protect your skin before you have to reapply it. 

Skin type and color (the more pale the skin, the higher SPF a person would need), certain medications and how much sunscreen you apply are some of the factors that determine how well the sunscreen can protect your skin.  Also, if you are going to be swimming or sweating excessively, you need to use a water resistant formula.  There’s no such thing as waterproof but there are some very good water resistant formulas to choose from.  Swimming and sweating excessively can reduce the amount of time you can safely avoid the sun’s rays so you would need to reapply more frequently .

And what the heck is an SPF???  The SPF rating only refers to UVB rays.  It does not tell you how well the sunscreen will screen out the UVA rays (they do more damage than the UVB rays).  Because of this, you need to make sure the sunscreen you are using contains one or more of the following ingredients:

avobenzone (aka Parsol 1789) (chemical)

Mexoryl SX (ecamsule) (chemical)

Tinosorb (chemical)

titanium dioxide (mineral)

zinc oxide (mineral)

If the formula you are using does not contain one or more of those ingredients, you may not be getting adequate coverage which means you may not be protecting your skin from cancer, wrinkles, brown spots, etc.  Again, don’t listen to the companies’ slogans and ads, read the ingredient label. 

Some of my favorite formulas are as follows:

For the face….  Paula’s Choice:  any and all of these are outstanding.  My favorite PC sunscreen is her  Ultra Light Weightless Finish SPF 30 Sunscreen Spray.  Also, Paula’s antioxidant serums are almost futuristic they’re so good.  Researchers now know antioxidants help boost sunscreen’s effectiveness so schmearing on some of these serums before you put on your sunscreen can give you extra protection.  Paula’s sunscreens have antioxidants in them but some other companies don’t add those yet.

For the body…. Neutrogena’s Sensitive Skin SPF 60+ or a high SPF formula from No-Ad (I get it at Walmartia).

Fragrance is another very important factor in sunscreens.  Fragrance can make your skin sun sensitive which means you would need a higher SPF to compensate for the extra senstivity.  And of course, sometimes fragrance is just irritating and/or not something I want to smell.  I love the Coppertone and Bain de Soleil (orange gel) fragrances but the Neutrogena fragance is just not to my taste.  So, give the formulas you check out a good sniff test to see if you want to smell like them. (And if any of the sunscreen companies are reading this, I wish someone would use the old Sea & Ski fragrance from the 70′s and 80′s.  Loved that stuff.)

Bonus to using sunscreen?  The higher the SPF, the more you stay cooler.  If you don’t believe me, try using sunscreen on one arm but not the other.  I guarantee the nekkid arm will feel heat within 5 minutes while the slathered arm feels normal.  It’s one way to beat the heat.

So, pick a formula with the right ingredients, that suits your skin and make sure you put it on at least 20 minutes before going outside to let the chemicals temporarily bond with your skin.  Don’t be chintzy with it, either.  Slather it on.  You have to make sure you get a good film over all exposed skin in order for it to work.

Anyhoo, that should get you started on your path to healthy, cool skin.  And remember, pale is the new tan.

Need a way to waste time or avoid doing a project?  No problem, just check out the following links (which are both blogs and websites but Blog and Website Flog doesn’t have a ring to it):

Go Fug Yourself  An outrageously funny blog about the hideous fashion choices of various entertainers.  99% of the photos are from official outings, not pap shots.  The writers, Heather and Jessica, are wonderfully snarky when a fug occurs and praising when the fab delights them.

Television Without Pity  HI-larious look at popular tv shows.  TWoP recaps various shows with a mixture of snark and props.  Hollywood, beware….

Boyfriend Of The Week  I admit it, I love men.  I love most everything about them.  This site is a great stress reliever because you not only get to read about great guys, you get to enjoy Meg’s witty snark and complete geekness.  Bonus: book and movie reviews!  

All of these have large archives so you can avoid doing things for as long as you like.  However, like everything in Life, these come with a warning:  do not eat or drink while reading these sites unless you like spewing all over your keyboard.

1.) If you have trouble keeping your eyelashes curled (for those of you who, like me, curl your eyelashes), try using waterproof mascara.  It won’t uncurl your lashes and it has serious staying power.  My personal faves are L’Oreal’s Voluminous and Maybelline’s Volum Express Waterproof.  To remove it, I use Sonia Kashuk’s eye makeup remover.  That stuff will remove every trace of eye makeup and it is gentle, gentle, gentle.  It also helps your lashes grow (mine have grown about 25%).  I love it so much, I might marry it.

B.) The following is a link to one of my all-time favorite websites.  Not only does this woman make the BEST comfort food (she and I both have a passionate love affair with bacon and with garlic), she’s also clever, witty and has my mom’s sense of humor.  Which means I feel for her little punks.  Check out The Pioneer Woman  (especially when you’re stressed.  I guarantee you’ll feel 999.9% better when you leave her little corner of the ’Net.)

“Does this make me look fat?” is a question guaranteed to turn a 6’5”, 300lb manly man into a quivering blob of jelly. The only question that’s considered worse is “does this make me look too fat?” At least with the former, the man thinks he has a chance of getting the answer right. With the latter, the man knows that no matter what answer he gives, he is doomed to a night of angry glances, sleeping on the couch and McDonald’s for the next morning’s breakfast. What most men don’t understand is there is no right answer to either question. Basically, women ask those questions for one reason and one reason only. To torture men.

Why do women want to torture men? Eh, who knows. Maybe it’s genetic, maybe it’s in retaliation for thousands of years of oppression, maybe it’s because men refuse to read a damn map. Whatever the reason a woman has for “popping the question”, the question itself has the power to bring strong men to their knees and make florists and jewelers rich. In fact, I’m seriously considering opening a combination floral shop/jewelry store. Can you imagine how wealthy I would be? “Elizabeth’s House of Repentance- Nothing says “I’m sorry” like roses and pendants.” Catchy, huh? Of course, since men won’t read the damn map, I’d have to have a delivery service as well.

Returning to the question of why women like to torture men… One reason we do it is to weed out the men from the boys. You can always tell which men have experienced a long-term relationship and which men think that getting to dessert is an accomplishment. If the man is experienced, the minute the question is asked, he immediately turns on the charm in an attempt tell the woman how perfect she is (which, by the way, is the proper response). A less experienced man will look a woman up and down and say something idiotic like “No, you look fine” (which, by the way, is not the proper response). Man #1 has a slim chance of having a great evening. Man #2 has a slim chance of getting out alive.

Of course, none of this is a mystery to women. Women are born with the torture instinct and are trained in the fine art of asking non-answerable questions. The real headscratcher is why haven’t men evolved into some semblance of being “clued in” to the game? How many men have to pay the price before some guy realizes that men are simply poor, helpless fish waiting to jump on our hooks? Why haven’t men developed some sort of protective shield that keeps them from answering our “questions” and keeps them from saying incredibly stupid things?

One of the amusing results of torture tests is when men try to get around the tests or to prevent the tests. A man will attempt to compliment a woman (“Sandy, you look very nice today.”) and if the woman is in testing mode she’ll twist whatever he said into something so different (“Are you saying I looked bad yesterday?”) that the man immediately begs forgiveness even though he hasn’t technically done anything wrong. I’ll admit that this is my favorite form of torture. For one thing, it takes skill to spontaneously spin the compliment into an insult. Secondly, the deer-in-the-headlights look on the man’s face is priceless. Of course, after the initial shock has worn off and the man is desperately trying to correct the situation, I let him off the hook. Well…..sometimes.

Although this form of torture is quite effective, I have recently learned that there is at least one man who has devised an antidote to the “spin test”. Instead of complimenting a woman, he simply says “I can find nothing bad or wrong to say about you”.

Oh, yeah, he’s good. He’s really good.

So ladies beware, where there is one man with a clue, there could be others. Pick your test men cautiously and torture with care, for someday the time may come when men rise up and retaliate with questions like “Do you know the difference between a Phillips screwdriver and a flat head screwdriver?” or “What is the difference between a Tight End and a Wide Receiver?” or the worst: “Who’s more of a badass, Kirk or Picard?”